A Carer’s Lost Love?

I am half of a lost love

And I refuse to believe

I can change my wife’s relationship with food

I realise this may come as a shock but

“Happiness comes from within”

Is a lie, and

“being thinner will make you happy”

So in 30 years I will tell my children

They are not the most important thing in Emma’s life.

Her eating disorders will know that

Emma has her priorities straight because


Is more important than


So experts tell me

10 years from now I will be celebrating the 5th anniversary of my divorce

I do not concede that

I will live in a relationship of my own making

In my future

Self destruction will be the norm

No longer can it be said that

I care about this relationship

It will be evident that

My attitude is apathetic and lethargic

It is foolish to presume that

There is hope for us

We can’t hope to beat this eating disorder together

I would be lying to you if I said that

This marriage has a great future

That reality can replace body dismorphier

That our lives could be filled with joy

That our children will be happy and healthy

Emma, I am convinced of this because I know you

Self-loathing and selfishness are ingrained in you

Anorexia will grow stronger in you every day and

I refuse to believe under any circumstance that

You will turn things around in the coming years

You have only this destiny

Whether you like it or not


All of this will come true


Unless you choose to reverse it.